Today I am 87 days Sober
12 weeks! I’m still trying to wrap my head around this crazy feat. I am feeling full of accomplishment and pride this week as I have neared the dreaded 90 days that most people know looms in the distance. 90 days is usually about the time most people are known to relapse, or at least I have been told by others who have gone through the process of sobering up. I for one will not. I know that I won’t because I have no reason to even consider going back to drinking my life away. I have the promises of a great career not to far off in the future, a support system that has been so loyal and dedicated to my success, and above all I have tapped back into the creative energy trapped inside. The creative energy that has brought me freedom from a tortuous past where sabotage was just a matter of fact. I have everything to lose, and only more to gain. Why would I ruin this for myself? That would be a foolish thing. For I am no fool. I am quite the opposite. Not quite an intellectual, but aware and quite knowledgeable. Smart enough to know what’s right from wrong and what is good and what is evil.
This week I celebrate. Celebrate the coming of a new age. The beginning of the next chapter. The fresh start I have been so blessed to gain by a stroke of luck and a twist of fate. Unlike earlier on, I have never felt such an overwhelming contentedness within myself. For the first time in a long time I feel very at ease, relaxed, and calm. I’m not lost in the negative thoughts that used to swirl around in my head like a violent tornado wreaking havoc along its unpredictable path. I see only the best to come. The opportunities before me. The life that I get to fashion for myself. Tailored to perfection, colored so boldly, stunningly beautiful. I am beautiful. This life I lead is beautiful and to exist amongst all the other beauty in the world once called Eden.
Most importantly I celebrate this new era of creativity that has transcended from the depths of hell and back into the heavens of my soul. I have found the cure to repression through the simplicity of self-expression. Days serve to enrich my experiences. Nights act as the space in which I let go and explore these moments. Together a harmonious balance of action and reflection. Every artistic creation is just one more petal opening on the lotus that grows out of my soul. Empowering me to continue and providing me the strength to do so. For as long as I create I am never alone. Creation is the destiny not even The Fates of the underworld could take from me. Take creation from this world and I would quickly follow. Without it I am just a body worn out and hollow. A lifeless being longing to be fulfilled with overwhelming ecstasy. This is something I will not let you do.
The next step is simple. I’ll continue to flourish and be true to me. Allow this newfound freedom to manifest itself within every facet of my life and usher in the promise of a better life. Remain firm in my creativity. Don’t allow the distractions of life to hinder what must be unleashed artistically. A new energy possess me and I can feel myself glow. Oh the things I have in store!
Enjoying the Beautiful Sunrise,