Blocked.

prison-bars

Have you ever thought how easy it is to just erase people from your life nowadays? The block button has changed the world in many ways. I remember the days when blocking access to your life from certain people wasn’t an option. You had to either deal with them being there or just hide and trap yourself in a controlled space where you know there is no risk of seeing them. We literally have the option to destroy a person’s existence from our reality and that’s mind boggling. I have a difficult time grasping this reality, but as I try to think about the people I have blocked out from my life I have a hard time remembering them as a whole. Their face, voice, personality, and as time ticks by, the memories I have associated with them begin to fade. What does remain, for me at least, is the pain and the trauma associated with these people. However, just like the memories, it fades as well. It fades because you grow and evolve and most importantly become stronger. Stronger and more secure in yourself as a human being and begin to accept all that has happened to shape you as a positive. 

As much as I do post so much of my life and let all of you in, I too have restricted access to certain people. I know that people have also restricted my access to their lives. That being said, considering the people who I have blocked out of my life, they still do have access. Access in the form of this blog. Why I still feel comfortable letting these people see this part of my life I don’t know. It may have to do with the fact that they never got to see or experience this part of me when they were around. It may also be because I openly talk about the pain they caused me and this is a way for me to convey that to them. So I guess it also serves as a big “Fuck you! I’m better off without you,” sometimes for a lack of a better term. I don’t apologize for it being that way. I have valid feelings and this is my right and space to express them. To those of you who may be reading this and are one of the people I blocked, you ran the risk of running into posts that may be about you and how you made me feel. I take back nothing that I have said. In any case, this blog serves to document my growth both good and bad. That means I will openly talk about whatever is on my mind and I do not hold back. No topic is off-limits. It’s a memoir god dammit! 

It’s kind of an indescribable feeling when you realize that someone has deliberately gone out of their way to make sure that you can’t be a part of their life. It hurts that’s for sure, but its a necessary evil sometimes. It’s usually for the best for both parties involved and it’s nothing to take personal. It’s hard not to, but a lot of people enter your lives where it is probably better if they hadn’t and this new concept of the Block allows you to paint white out over that person. Block away I say! There is no use in torturing yourself by subjecting your life to a person who doesn’t care and has no good intentions. Think about it like you are removing yourself from the situation. But when you do block, remember that even if the interactions were negative they did shape you and that is something worth holding onto and taking forward into the future.

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To forget someone is a beneficial thing. However, they do not entirely disappear. They may not exist in your consciousness, but their presence and impact is felt in your soul and that is permanent. A lot of healing involves forgetting because to forget means to reconcile and to reconcile means to make peace with the issue. Don’t we all want to feel at peace with ourselves? Moreover, look after yourselves everybody. Take advantage of this revolutionary blocking technology. Do what you need to do to protect yourself from harm. Never apologize for your choices or your feelings and always find something to take away from these people you block out whether it be positive, negative, or both. Here’s to a happier healing process.

Exercising My Right To Heal:

Taylor James

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